Even a couple of decades ago, Indian men kept away – by choice or due to tradition – from all things connected to a pregnancy. The mother-to-be was mostly on her own, left to deal with the changes her body – and mind – were going through. Sometimes, confused yet loving men, accompanied wives to the obstetrician visits and walked with them around a park. While times are changing, the men are still confused about how to deal with this new development in their lives – the baby bump. Yet, like in every other area, change is happening. And it’s a good thing.
In earlier days, pregnant women went about their daily chores not knowing what was happing to their bodies, today’s woman knows something’s changing. She has the internet and can Google anything. But what she does not realize or know is that while it is a great resource, there is a lot of misinformation also floating around, and that can confuse the issue.
On a recent visit to my school, I met up with my teacher who was pregnant with her first baby when I was her student. “I did not know I was pregnant,” she remembered. “Suddenly, one day, in the middle of a class, I broke out in a sweat. My hands and feet were wobbly, I felt faint.” She ran out of class. I ran out behind her and watched over her as she splashed water on her face. As I lived in a joint family, and had seen pregnancies, I knew she was in the family way. “Ma’am, you must be pregnant,” I pronounced to a horrified teacher. Turned out I was right. She has never forgotten that first realization.
Now that I am a Childbirth Therapist, I know why pregnant women sweat more. Here’s why. With the new being growing within, their bodies prepare to nurture it. Blood vessels expand to accommodate the extra volume of blood that the baby needs. It takes three months for a mother’s body to adjust to nurturing the new being. This causes nausea, sweating and light headedness.
Today’s parents-to-be need the reassuring knowledge from a professional who is qualified to teach them about the changes that take place in their lives and bodies right through the pregnancy and into parenthood. Most pregnancy classes insist the father attends too. Because he is most likely to be his wife’s birthing companion and he needs to know what she is going through and what he can do to help. “We learnt a lot during our classes,” says Sri, a software engineer, who attended antenatal classes with his wife, Mangal. “I fell asleep during the relaxation. I was that comfortable,” he smiles, a little embarrassed. Well, dads need to relax too. Especially after baby arrives.
Attending pregnancy classes is best during the second trimester. The mother’s mind and body are by now adjusted to the body’s changes, and this is the time she needs to take care of her nutrition. During the classes, couples learn nutrition, bodily changes, baby’s growth, the birth process, how to tell when it is false labour, exercises – both before the baby and after the birth, when to go to the hospital, how to help the doctor deliver the baby, pain management techniques and lots else. An entire session deals with breast feeding: how to prepare her breasts for feeding, how to feed the baby, techniques that can be used to ensure the baby gets all he needs. “I had many doubts during my pregnancy,” says Hemlatha who came for classes in Chennai all the way from Kanchipuram. “My legs were swollen. In my class I learnt why it happens and what to do. I found the exercises and home remedies taught to us were most useful.”
Most husbands accompany their wives to the classes. Some are still embarrassed about becoming dads. One husband actually wanted to know how he could help ease his wife’s discomfort during labour, and later told me her found the massage taught during the class really worked. He felt involved.
Another dad, Gautam, got very involved in coaching his wife through the labour. He was with her even during the birth. “Did you see your baby’s head crown?” I asked him, quite thrilled with the work he did. A look of confusion appeared on his face. “No,” he said, like he had done something wrong. “Why?” I wanted to know. “Well,” he explained, “I was at the wrong end of the action!” apparently, he was supporting his wife, Girija’s head and shoulders while urging her to push.
Ameeta Agnihotri is a Childbirth Therapist, practicing at her studio in Velachery.
Contact: littlemiracles.10@gmail.com or call 9840284249.
The above article appeared in Gallop, the magazine from Madras Race Club
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